


Disgusting Fluffy Hair

by MayMilk



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Dib doesnt know how to take care of himself, Dib is probably a little OOC, Fluff, Hair, He is a little bit more smooth than he should be, I mean, M/M, ZaDr, and Zim worried about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:34:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21853768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayMilk/pseuds/MayMilk
Summary: "What are you doing?" Dib asked in a sleepy voice."Zim was just, huh, feeling how DISGUSTING your human hair is!"---Or which Zim discover that human hair is more soft and conforting than he thougth it was
Relationships: Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 231





	Disgusting Fluffy Hair

**Author's Note:**

> Omg, i am really nervous to post this. I mean, this is the first fanfiction i write on a language that its not my native one (which is portuguese)  
> SO I AM SORRY IF THERE ARE ANY GRAMMAR MISTAKES OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT ;~;
> 
> So... Yeah... This fanfic was supossed to be a really short thing based on a idea i had of some fanart (this thing here: https://maymilkstuff.tumblr.com/post/189746967116/so-i-tried-to-do-this-thing-basically-zim) But i decided to make it longer because i was really needy of some fluff??? I hope its good.

"Wha- Human!" Zim shouted, feeling a sudden weight resting on his side "Get off of Zim!!" He commanded, trying to push Dib away, soon noticing that the boy laying on his shoulder actually had fallen asleep. 

The irken huffed as he tried to push Dib away. After all, it seemed like the human's inferior body FINALLY collapsed after avoiding his sleep schedule for so long. 

The alien always thought it was weird about how sleeping was a (primitive) basic human need and Dib, as himself being a human, couldn't do this simple natural task. So, eventually, there was times like this. When they're watching some boring human show on the TV along with GIR, and Dib apparently just "stopped working".  He already asked why there happened, but Dib would say that was a thing called "insomnia" or something like that. The alien couldn't really remember.

"GIR! HELP ZIM!" The alien demanded angrily shouting for his robot who was sitting on the floor

"Okaaaay!" The robot looked away from the TV and stared at his master and the human "What do you need?"

"To take him away from me!" He pointed at Dib.

"Ohhhh…" The SIR unite looked at them "I gonna need to use a taco!" He announced hapilly, quickly searching and putting his dog suite. 

"What, why?" Zim asked confused, but GIR was already living the house.

"BECAUSE…" And the robot didn't really finished the sentence, just leaving the alien alone with a not awake human over him. Zim hissed with impatience, deciding to just do it by himself.

He placed his hands on the paranormal investigator's shoulders and shoved him away using all the strength he could. Unfortunately the human's unconscious body only bounced before falling with back and knocking Zim down again.

The alien yelped with the feeling of being crushed against the couch. And Dib didn't seemed to wake up.  Zim cursed on his native language as he felt the "human head fur" blocking his view. The paranormal investigator was letting his hair grow lately, and now the irken had to deal with a huge fluffy tuft covering his face. 

He tried to push Dib away again, placing both his gloved hands on the human's head and slowly trying to move him away. 

"Stupid human" He grunted "And stupid hair". Strangely, after still trying to out more space between him and his frenemy, he could feel the softness of Dib's hair brushing lightly against his cheeks. He frowned. That was, at least, strange. Different from his wig, which was really itchy and uncomfortable, Dib's hair actually felt really comfy and nice against his skin.  Curious about this sensation, he actually let the human's head rest temporarily on his chest while he took off his gloves and placing his claws over the dark hair.

The hair slipped between his fingers smoothly. Even if Zim wasn't going to admit out loud, he found himself amazed by how the human hair could actually be so fluffy.  He continued do brush the hair using his claws, actually enjoying petting the human body leaning into him while petting the tufts on his head. Impressed by the sensation, the irken pressed his face against the fluffiness, letting out a little smile as he felt the strands of hair caressing his cheeks.

What was the name of the thing that humans used to wash their hair? Swampoo? Zim wondered as he felt the nice scent coming into his antennas, who had fallen, joining his face and hands on tasting the new feeling.  One of the appendages curled around the cowlick, rubbing itself against the fluff, and the alien couldn't help but smile. Strange to say, cuddling the human like that was really good and warm, the kids of warmth that make his squeedlyspooch be full of figurative butterflies. 

He continued to rub himself against Dib's head and enjoying the softness, closing his eyes, and, without realising, letting out a little happiness purr.  That sweet little secene persisted until the moment the human finally spoke. "What are you doing?" Dib asked in a sleepy voice, finally waking up, blinking a bit dizzy after the little nap. 

"AHH! NOTHING!" Zim screamed. Placing both of his hands on his rival's shoulder he used all the strength he had to push Dib away, almost making him fall out of the couch "Zim was just, huh, feeling how DISGUSTING your human hair is!" He lied, feeling his face getting hotter every second. 

Dib stared at him tiredly and confused. He rubbed his baggy eyes under his glasses as he left out a yawn. "So…" He muttered. His voice as husky and lazy "That means you like my hair?" He teased, smirking at the alien.

"NO" The alien shouted in embarrassment "Why would Zim like something so STUPID and STINKY as your soft ugly human hair?"

"So you do think it's soft?" The human continued to provoke the alien. 

"And ugly and stinky!" He retorted trying his best to cover his shame by shouting and insulting. 

"I am pretty sure I washed it before I came here" He sighed, running a hand through his hair. Another bad habit that the human had of not really caring correctly of his body and needs was not cleaning himself so usually as he should. But Dib actually started making a little more effort in taking care of that part so Zim wouldn't complain about his smell whenever they hang out for not fighting purposes.

"Don't matter how much you clean your head fur, it will still be stink and pathetic and NOT fluffy and pleasing for Zim! Never!" The alien shouted with the best confident composure he could put "And I certainly DON'T LIKE it" 

"So, if you don't like it, that's mean you won't care if I shave it off?" 

"NO! DON'T DO THAT!" The alien shouted in alarm, making Dib laugh. Oh shit. He had fallen into the human's trap "I m-mean… I don't care about your hair, it's just because you'd be too ugly without it!" 

"So you do think i am not ugly right now?" And, with that, Zim choked on his own embarrassment hiding his face on his hands growling nervously. 

While that, Dib thanked mentally the fact that the alien was so ashamed that he couldn't notice how the human himself was equally awkwardly blushing by the flitting/teasing. So yeah, he could pretend to be smooth as long as he could keep Zim worried about himself. Before the irken could came up with one excuse, the human soon said: 

"Do you want to touch it again?" He blurted out the question. Zim stared at him surprised by the offer.  The alien nodded, slightly approaching again. Dib gulped as he observed his nemesis get up on his knees and place his claws over the dark hair. 

The paranormal investigator was a little surprised when he first wake up and noticed that Zim was without his gloves, considering how germophome he was, and he was still impressed when he felt the tiny green hands caressing the back of his head. Zim gulped. He let his fingers brush the hair again, but this time was different. Dib was AWAKE and STARING at him. The way his amber eyes where fixed on his face was waking strange feelings burning down on his squeedlyspooch.

“Stop looking at Zim” he demanded turning his face away. "That's embarrassing!"

"Okay" Dib muttered nervously "Wait… Lemme just.." He adjusted himself sitting in the couch, and then grabbed Zim by his waist and pulled him closer, making the alien stand up on his knees above his lap, with both legs placed on Dib's sides. In that way they were both almost at the same height.

The teen hesitantly approached and them rested his face in Zim's shoulder. "Better?" Dib asked a little bit uncertain.

He felt his rival tensed up on his arms, before slowly relaxing and snuggling the human closer, burying his face again against the soft black hair, letting his claws explore the softness of it. "Yes…" Zim finally answered in low voice. 

Soon the irken felt the slender arms surrounding his waist, cuddling him even more closer, so his body was pressed against the human's. Zim yelped surprised by the action, but surprisingly didn't tried to get away, deciding reluctantly to let himself enjoy the moment.  Dib closed his eyes, feeling his heart beating fast on his chest, feeling a really warm feeling I'm his body by holding Zim like this. He left out a sigh, finding pleasant the feeling of tiny alien claws caressing the back of his head. 

"Don't you dare to sleep again" The irken whispered angrily, getting a little chuckle from the teen. 

"But you didn't complain about it last time" He teased again, receiving a little slap in his nape om response. 

"Shut up" Zim grunted embarrassed "It's your fault for not doing your basic body needs" 

Dib thought about trying to explain his lack of self care to Zim, but in the end he just left out a deep sigh, finding out it would be too difficult. I'm the end he just decided to continue teasing the alien so he could stop talking about the subject.

"Well, I didn't know you cared, space boy" He said with a little smug.

"I don't!" The irken responded quickly "It's just… I don't want my enemy to be weak and not healthy" He muttered against Dib's hair, cuddling the teen closer. Zim almost sounded sad? 

"I'll be fine, okay?" The human said while getting a little space between them just enough to look in the irken in the eyes "You don't have to worry about me"

"I already said I am not worried" Zim complained, making Dib chuckle. "But… You promise that your inferior human body is fine?" 

"Yeah yeah.." The paranormal investigator sighed, putting his forehead together against Zim's. "I am fine" 

"Good" The alien responded simply, feeling a little bit tensed up by the proximity of his face to Dib's. He felt a hand being placed on the side of his face, gently caressing his cheek. 

Zim gulped in anticipation. He was a little bit oblivious about affection and another earth stuff, but he knew what Dib was going to do when he slowly approached their faces. 

So, he just closed his eyes. And then suddenly it seemed like the world was on fire.

The meet of their lips was soft and slow, their mouths just bruising uncertainty against each other, but the little contact about them was already enough to make both of them shiver.

Everything happening, for Zim, was almost overwhelming. The feeling of Dib's soft hair running through his fingers, hi hands gently rubbing his back right below the PAK, the feeling of the soft human lips being pressed against his own. 

It seemed like his squeedlyspooch was so full of metaphorical butterflies that it was going to explode. 

Unfortunately, the kiss was suddenly broken when they heard the sound of the door being slammed open.

"MASTAAHHH! I am BACK!" The robot yelled as he entered the room, making the Irken fastly push himself away from the human, falling with his back on the floor "AND I BOUGHT YOU TACOOOS" He said, showing a bag full of food.

"T-Thanks Gir!" Zim said nervously, quickly getting up. He refused to look at Dib, but he noticed the teenage was as embarrassed as he was. 

"Do you want some, Mary?" The SIR unite offered, but before the human could answer anything, the irken intervent abruptly.

"HE IS LEAVING!" 

"Uh, yeah. I have… Stuff to do!" Din nervously, getting out of the couch and then waking towards the door. 

"Huh, okaaay" For said while climbing to sit I'm the furniture "I guess you can continue the kissing later then!" He said totally oblivious of the awkward mood between the rivals.

"WE WERE NOT-" Zim started to scream, with his face almost boiling in embarrassment, but Dib interrupted.

"Let him be" he mumbled, already on the door, ready to leave "So hum…" He stared down, without the courage enough to look at Zim in the eyes "I see you later?" 

"Yeah, yeah…" The irken said "Just remember to sleep this time" 

"I'll try" The teen laughed nervously. Zim only grunted in response, already closing the door, but before actually doing it, he paused, and then opened it again "Hey, Dib-smelly"

"What?" Dib, who was already turning away, looked at Zim again. The alien hesitated, but soon let out a little smirk.

"I lied. I did enjoy your hair. Take better care of it!" And then, with that, he finally closed the door, and Dib couldn't hold a smile.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Well... I personally didn't know what to do in the end, and i struggled a couple of days (more than i wanted to) to finish it, BUT AT LEAST I DID IT.
> 
> Now i am going to hide in the corner and die of embarassment uhhhhhhh


End file.
